Something meant to be shared 真水无香

My parents are visiting me here, again. This time, it was surprisingly easy and harmony-ish. I guess I’m older with different views of life and they had their expectations adjusted, ’shit’ sorted.

I took my dad to Skybar last night to bond, it was nice, he was so honest and open-minded about his thought plans, and views, we haven’t had these type of conversations for years..it felt really good.. touched.

Recently, I really started to understand the fact that they will not be forever here.. I want to spend some quality time with they whenever I can, to love them back.

The love I have for them so layered - the tastefulness of love rises from the complexity and uniqueness of our past,  understanding of the present, and  evolve to the future. The love is beyond the traditional values like responsibilities and obligations, it is humanity.

However, it is not that complicated after all, for them, it’s just ‘love’, unconditionally.

I had one of my fantasies half fulfilled the other day, it involved a male masseur etc

It was all nice.. but I feel half satisfied, half empty.

If you want to make your fantasy become true, you need to do it right.

Or, you can never do it right, because fantasy will never be ‘right’ in reality?

The club got really crowded at some point. So, I sneaked out and went to a quieter bar downstairs for a quiet drink just by myself. It was nice, a moment of clarity –

I don’t feel missing out, missing out all these party scenes, these lighthearted yet meaningless mingle around, socializing, I am happy with all the quiet nights and simple lifestyles and a small group of quality friends.

My definition of ‘a good time’ has evolved. I feel right at this moment of my life.

I met Alex on my 27^th birthday night on a taxi stand. I was desperately needed a taxi to my birthday dinner and I was late. He was at the head of the Q and I shamelessly approached him to share a taxi with me with my good reasons. And he did. We were friends since then.

He is known as the ‘Google guy’, the head of SEA regional director of Google, he was. He is probably not the coolest person I’ve ever known but he is certainly one of easiest person to talk to. We talk about almost everything and anything, we communicated at a same level which I took a big pride of - When I say something, he will not just take its face value, he will try to see through it, understand it, digest it and able to give me his piece of opinion (there are lot people that I’ve talked to don’t any of these processes). He can be a little boring though, hehe… but probably that’s because he is extremely rational. We have a lot in common, therefore shared a lot of similar views on things, yet he still managed to surprise me with some very different perceptive and they are all very genuine. One thing he taught me is ‘to be true to yourself, even it’s your darkest desire or flaws, it’s ok.’ We are not always agreed with each other but we always understood each other. We have drawn to each other personalities, essence of principles and outlooks of life. We are totally ourselves we are in each other’s company. It was that effortless and enjoyable. Yes, indeed, I enjoyed his company.

He is all that good, one note though, I am not sexually attracted to him, at all. And that is a good thing, it is one of crucial requirements if you have friends they are opposite sex.

He is leaving Asia for good, at least for now, going back to San Franco where he’s from. So we arranged a weekend visit to Singapore to farewell. He took me out to his favorite hangouts with his friends and gang, Sentosa, Overeasy, Butter Factory etc, it was all good! I had some tears when I said good bye to him this morning. I will really miss him.

Here to my most humble friend - you always be a friend whenever I wanted a conversation, with substance.

This is what he said about me – not afraid of expressing and pushing the boundary to celebrate the recent liberations. That’s how much he understood me.

• Amend my ‘dolpin’ tattoo
• Visit Tibet
• Driving license
• Skydiving
• Publish a book
• Taking my parents for a holiday
• Extending my career horizon

Each year, I will have a to-do-list to achieve, things that making me feel complete. Some of these things are from last year, some are the things that I always wanted to do, some are ‘have-to’s. Each year, I feel completed a little more, each year there are some new things that I find the passion upon.

This is a list that made who I am through out the years and years to come.

Archie recently celebrated his 1 year birthday and received many presents, most of them are toys. Talking about toys, he has more toys than I have ever owned, he is only 1 year old! There wasn’t any toys involved in my younger years, apart from that my family probably couldn’t afford a decent toy, all I had was the good time with my friends, adventuring in the jungles (or jungle-ish) and someone’s back yards (often been chased off or yelled off). My toys are very, in a modern terminology - ‘organic’, they are either made of wooden sticks, broken guns (real guns that’s what I’m talking about, or old machines abandoned by someone. Trust me, I don’t feel I’ve missed a thing!

And these toys, I have to say, they are ridiculously fancy – some with these flashy lights that made me almost believed they are made by same people from the Casinos, some are misleading – one of the toys is to encourage the babies to lock the animals in the cage! How cruel!

My problem with these toys is that what else is left for them… if they are fascinated or so well ‘exposed’ in such young age, what’s left for them to go ‘woo!’ or generally interested to find out ‘what’s that mummy, I’ve never seen that before!’, because everything has been made perfectly within a hand reach. There will be fewer excitements, possibly as a result, less curiosity to the nature. He will be like ‘that’s nothing, I’ve seen better.’ And that’s sad.

As parents, my job is to open up as many opportunities for my child as I can in line with his interest and potential. At same time, I feel I need to stop all these ‘artificial-human-inventions’ away from him so that he can use his own hands and mind to discovery, to make, to build and most importantly, to enjoy.

Son, don’t hate me, I just want to show you there is more that this world can offer than just these fancy lights and hard plastics.