There were a few daunting rounds of negotiations regarding my career path in the past few weeks. I was bouncing between of my choice and the ‘family’ choice. ‘Stay’ or ‘go’ isn’t as simple as it looks. I have to admit that even at this point, I still can’t be sure that I have made the right decision.
I took up a new offer from a multinational research power house right before I gave birth; the initial plan was to start a fresh once I was ready to go back to work. The drama started when I broke the news that I was going to leave Firestar to my CEO, Dave. He was upset, and went from threatening to tearing up, begging me to stay. My decision became a little shaky when he was started the emotional battle.
In the end, they ‘won’ me back, and I’m staying with Firestar. Deep down, I know I changed my decision neither because of the flexibility in Firestar, nor because of my having new born baby to look after. It is the sense of guilt-free; it is the sense of familiarity. Besides, to me, work is about a ‘means to an end’ at this point. Since I will make the same amount of money, working for whoever isn’t that crucial to me anymore.
I feel flattered that these two are fighting over me, it is certainly a good problem to have. However, I guess I will soon know if I have made the right decision. It’s only that - I feel a little down that I didn’t pursue with making a change which I’ve been longing for.
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