Something meant to be shared 真水无香

          He was the chief designer for Gucci and he made a shocking decision to  leave them last year. He is a very charming talent, and that was only thing I know about him before I watched the interview with him in CNN last night. I was really impressed - how confident he is, how sure he is about himself, what he does, and his taste. He revealed the rationale about the decision leaving Gucci. You can watch this interview on: www. cnn.com/artoflife

          How on the earth did she decide she wanted to be a DJ?! Carlsberg sponsored DJ Diamond to spin in Luna this week (I am more and more convinced that only Carlsberg would sponsor events like this.) Though Luna is a decent bar, the audiences (especially male audiences) were pathetic; the music was pathetic, the whole experience was pathetic. What made it good was my company and booze.

          Anyway, I met Bobby Chin, the celebrity chef on ‘Travel & Living’ in Luna on Friday night. He is exactly like what he is on the show – loud and bubbly personality, arrogant but playful. Since one of his episode that he was in China mainland, so I wanted to know his opinion from a well-known-international chef. I liked the answer (it was rather another question) when I asked “what do you think about Chinese food in Mainland China?” “Which region are you referring to? China is big! Each region has its amazing specialty…”  He knows his stuff, I’ve changed a little perceptive about him. After Luna, he invited me to another party in Shangari-la with all these Malay royals, they call themselves prince and princess. I was impressed how older women flatter him…. I dismissed myself for an early morning. We promised we will keep in touch.   

         I’ve started to run another project for Local Pepsico right after I got back from Shang Hai. Client wants to develop the “Revive – Isotonic” drink they just launched not long ago. I have to work through the weekend because of it. And again, I did a good job despite all the parties and alcohol and hangover and short notice. 

          I had another blind-man massage…but this time I figured he wasn’t quite blind……

          I had a ‘crazy’ week!

          Was in Shang Hai for couple of nights. Thought I didn’t get a chance to have good look of the city, I had a peek of this busy city from where I stayed and worked – Nan Jin Road. Let’s talk about work first – it is a very crucial experience for me and just what I needed at this very stage. It helped me to see where I am, as researcher, as a market consultant, and most importantly, as a China Nationality.

          I was a little worried about this project in China before I went; on one hand I have very little knowledge about the complex local market; on the other hand, my Chinese has lost the social reference as a result of the lifestyle I’ve had in KL in past few years. With some pre-preparation and chatting with the locals for a little while, I knew I’d be fine, I can adapt to ‘it’ because ‘it’ is in me no matter how far away I was from it. I can easily blend in with people that I was talking with. I can understand their attitudes not only from their local social background but with a reference as an ‘outsider’. I impressed my UK and local Nokia clients, and of course my gay MD for Greater China (note: it is not easy to please a gay boss, they are worse than lady bosses!).

          I also found out my company is taking so much for granted about my language skills, however they offered me a life. Shang Hai is a city full of opportunities, if you’re good, you will be great! Of course, you have to work really hard for it. It came down to a choice that either you really gonna work the shit out of yourself, or decide to not make an impressive amount of money but having a relative easy yet fulfilled life. I choose the second one, to be more specific - in KL, at least for now.

          Shang Hai is all advanced and modern and busy and nice. It was way too busy and expensive for my taste. Too many goods, too many choices, too commercialized. After all, I’d like to call it ‘the window of modern China’.

        I need to install Chinese on my computer. Must.

        Write and read in Chinese more.

          I enjoy the journey on the train to the airport. It’s normally very quiet and comfy. I like it, because it is not only the starting point of my journey, it is the beginning of it; I like it, because it has passed the hectic preparation part of the journey, and all you have to do is just to sit and get ready to whatever the journey is going to offer. It gives me a space to think or not to think at all.

          I also enjoy the journey back from airport on the train. It’s usually very quiet and comfy too, like a perfect cycle, the perfect ending for the journey. Sit in the train, looking out of the window, secretly counting how many times I have left (from) and came back to this place, each time is an unique experience and feeding a different purpose.

          I like my journey begins with this mood-less mood, and looking forward to come back with an after-all-moods-moodless-mood. Pure peace, another experience and a subtle joy.  

          I am going to Shang Hai for a Nokia regional project this coming Tuesday. I haven’t been back to SH for more than a decade! My great uncle lives there…though I can’t remember how he looks like!

          Most importantly, I am very eager to find out how is it like working in the city as a local Chinese yet with an expat role. On the other hand, I can’t wait to compare myself with the locals, in terms of working culture, way of thinking, and simply my market value in my homeland!

          Went to Singapore for a project on Tuesday, cost saving, May (my MD) and I shared one room. It turned out, well, surprisingly well. One night we chatted until 5 in the morning, we chatted about almost everything – people in the office, our clients, our job, our projects, and most importantly, ourselves.

          I’ve never felt comfortable sharing things about myself in front of Soph and May, one hand to avoid any unnecessary ‘cat-flights’, and simply because I like to keep my private live private. I always have had mix feelings about May, though she consistently surprises me, pleasantly, most of time, I remind myself not to be like her in any possible way.

          I wouldn’t say May and I are 100% honest about every single view or feeling about everything, but we did stimulate each others thoughts and had few rather intellectual conversations that morning.

          As a qualitative researcher, she encourages in house moderators to follow our intuition, because to her, it is a way to get in touch with our subconscious. “It is important to listen to our subconscious - it is the reflection of our inner-self” “How is that so?” I asked, intrigued. “Well, information and how we absorb information feeds our inner-self, and intuition is the alarm of our subconsciousness. Therefore, we need to pay attention to our intuition in order to capture the important information that might have by-passed our conscious and went straight to our subconscious.” “Right, fair enough. I guess I need to find the balance to be conscious about the situation and pay attention to my intuition at the same time!” “Yes, you need to trust your intuition more.” 

          She also pointed out that determination is one of my strengths; however, I focus too much on the small things rather than the big picture. And my defense was, I only start to lose control on the big picture when I am not very confident at what I am doing.

          Anyway, I helped her to figure out why she spent so much on shoes (RM60,000 in less than two years)  and why she is so neat yet never can find her car keys!

          There are only two situations that our shadow disappears/vanishes – when we in a complete darkness and when we are lying directly under the sun. The rest of the time, our shadow will follow us wherever we go, and whatever we do – it’s unavoidable.   

          Most of us don’t pay attention to our shadows, it is just a shadow. To me, our shadow is one way to show our existence, however, in a very shadowed way. It is the side that’s always goes against the light; a side that reminds us of our ‘flaws’; a side that we don’t really want others to know yet we can’t it cover up. Indeed, shadows need not always have such a negative portrayal, in fact, it adds a dimension to us, and it is the most consistent and persistent fan of ourselves.

          Our shadow is even lower than where we stand, it is our real base.   

          I want to be a person who’s not afraid of my own shadow.