Something meant to be shared 真水无香

Part I ~~

          “Oh, god, I am so late, and this rain is not helping!” I looked around, there is this guy in suit standing next to me, waiting for taxi. I decided to approach him. “Hello, you see.. I am really late for my birthday dinner, are you going to Bangsar by any chance? Do you thinking we can share a taxi?”  “Sure! Not a problem! I am going to KL central.” As we speak, taxi arrived.

          After introduce ourselves, I found out he is working for Google! “How cool is that! I can’t possibly live without Google nowadays!” I told him, “Is this the first time you are in Malaysia?” “Oh no, I have to come down here every month, we are extending our offices to South East Asia right now, so… besides, my wife is Malaysian!” “Alright alright…hey, here is my card, and give me a buzz if you are in town, I’d like to buy you a coffee as my taxi fair.” We changed our cards before I jumped out from the taxi. I looked his card – Business Development Manager, Asia Pacific.

Part II ~~

          He’s name is Alex, and he brought us Sandoria, instead of coffee. Apart from randomly thinking about all sorts of possibilities, I am generally really interested to find out more about this new age billionaire organization. Our conversation was insightful, he share lots of interesting staff with me – hosting an extraordinary dinner with Anwa Ibrahim, Branding Google in China by giving it a Chinese name, how eBay been kicked out from China market, how different in cultures and politics when it comes to doing business (from an American’s point of view..hehe.), how youtube amazingly grow in such a short period of time….etc etc… He was a great company.

          What surprises me was his local knowledge and insights, probably because of his wife and frequent travels from San Francisco to Asia. I invited him to party with my MBA mates later at night, he blended in well. All my friends were interested in how it is like working in Google just as much as I am!

          I guess this could be the best gift for my birthday after all, if you know what I mean!

Listen with your eyes.

There is a road from the heart and mind that does not go through the ears.

          I was really looking forward my holiday with Al and his parents in Phuket. But I couldn’t unwind and completely relax myself because of this project  for Marlboro in Penang. And not to mention the message from my parents.

          I did well for this project, both clients and my bosses were pleased. I feel  much more relieved now.

          The message from my parents was about my relationship related issues, the same old things.  I was upset it arrived on a very inappropriate time, at same time, feel being pressured, on my holiday!

Continued…

          Came back, called them, and complained, it became a fight. I forgot I can’t force them to see what I see, I can’t force them to believe what I believe; they can’t see the change in me, unless they understand what I can possibly change to, which high unlikely.

          Here you go, my holidays. Sigh. If you have read the ‘Joy Luck Club’, you will know what I am stuck with… 

          Laying down by the pool side and listen to my music, try to get some rest before the next discussion group start. Woke up by these two Japanese girls’ giggling and soft small talks who chose to sit next to me. I wasn’t upset but rather happily observing them, without understanding a thing what they are talking, from their facial expressions and the light hearted laughs, it made me feel happy too.

         They are in their early 20s, they must be having a holiday in Penany, and looks like just two of them… nice. They were in their colorful Bikinis, looked cheerful and youthful. They are simply enjoying each other’s company.

         It makes me think about my girlfriends. I have few girlfriends I’d called sisters. That’s how closed we use to be. Can’t remember when exactly, we all ‘grown up’. And we all seemed so caught with our lives, problems and simply, ‘things’. We are so busy and stressed even just to meet up, and even when we meet up, we complain about our work, our colleagues, our bosses, our salary, most of the time we are talking about how unfair life is. Somehow, we become little distanced with all these ‘things’.

          I miss what these two girls have, the lighthearted laughs, the giggling, I miss the jokes that only me and my girlfriends will be able to understand, I miss that cheerfulness and that simplicities. I miss that warmness and the closeness we use to have …

          "I don’t think Steve Jobs designed the iPhone. I think he snapped his fingers and told his engineers to do it. And the iPhone sure isn’t revolutionary. It is not an innovation in technology, just packaging. How can a company make more money? Combine more things into one product and charge more. And accessorize, accessorize, accessorize. If I bought all the stuff that Apple makes for the iPod, I would be broke. I guess Jobs is a genius - a marketing genius."

                                                                        —- Jeff Simon

          I was sharing these few values shifting with couple of my good friends lately. First of all, about my parents - I never buy into certain values about how to fulfill the duty as a child to our parents. I do what I will do, but don’t tell me what’s ‘right’ to do. Until reaching 27 recently, I sense the true fear of losing my parents, and I want to do more for them, I know it is for me too. They have not only come apart of my ‘life map’, but also the major part of it. I love them more that I could imagine.

          Second of all, the acceptance to differences of others. I have lots of different kinds of friends; we are all from different cultures, different ages, different backgrounds, different jobs, different tastes, different preferences, different religions, and different ‘colors’. See, that’s friends, and my love and acceptance only reach a level as a friend, or a really good friend, not anymore. I know I can’t love somebody who’s really ‘different’ from me as a lover/soulmate. Reaching 27, I am proudly discovered, I am able to love somebody who is really different from me, who is really different from what culture I come from, what color I am… I mean literally almost everyone, anyone.

          Why fortune tellers never go to details of their predictions and foresee..

          Now I understand why all the fortune-tellers and horoscopes are so general. Apart from ‘wide attribution’, these people use their ‘snap of judgments’ (according to ‘Blink’) and intuition more than any average people. Intuition, just like imagination, does need a detailed description. And they trust their judgments base on experiences and observations. That’s why it can be scarily true, some times.

Partner-in-Crime & I had brunch another day:

Me:      Don’t know why, even I have a decent job, a stable relationship, friends and all, I am not happy…

PIC:     You not ‘not happy’, you are not satisfied.

Me:      Maybe.

PIC:     You will never be satisfied, and I know that the first time I met you. It is your destiny.

Me:      What! (laughs… and little shocked..and kinda convincing.)

PIC:     You won’t be satisfied no matter what you have achieved or what you have. See, you need to find a religion. To have a sense of dependence, to feel content. 

Me:      I am afraid it is too late to have a religion for me now. Besides, I don’t think even a religion can satisfy me. I am already deeply trapped…

PIC:     Well, that’s your destiny then. You will not be satisfied with the good things in your life.

Me:      (I wondered, “How will I feel when I satisfied, one day.)

          This well respected Chinese lady in Manhattan said this, “I came to the U.S 35 years ago to do my PHD. If I finished my PHD at that time, and started to work for a bank, then eventually become a manager. I wonder if I would be satisfied. But I didn’t manage to do my PHD. My life led me down another road without a choice. But all these struggles, ups and downs, failures and small successes have made me who I am today.

          I hope I can say the same thing when I am her age, no matter what field I am in.

          In the most reality, as we grow older, we forget what the dreams were when we younger.

          I am afraid that it will happen to me too, especially since turning 27 recently. I try to remember what I always wanted to do, and to never forget. In fact, it has become even clearer. I not only remember my ‘dreams’, I try to understand better why these dreams so important to me. It is called progression.

          Some dreams have already become true, some dreams still in the process of forming. I am very pleased that I am still capable to dream.