Archive for November, 2005My dear friends, these are my very own animated character, the whole team so called ‘StyleCouncil’, and you can find them from both ‘Juice’ and ‘KLUE’ every month from now onwards. Very good marketing strategies. However, I personally don’t think it looks like me, but I do like the name - La Belle. It’s pretty cool! Check it out!
. h other oneappy happy …..
another one..appen happy….
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happy happy.
… Please do not ask me anything about what I said on the Magazine, because I know nothing! I really started drinking when I was 22. I think I have to admit that ‘alcohol’ could be the biggest factor involved in the reasons for the breakups, as well as a catalyst in starting my relationships. I used to seek the pleasure that magical liquid gave me, both physcally and emotionally. Later on, I realized that there is a fine line between pleasing myself and abusing this pleasure. And the consequences of abusing this pleasure will probably turn the good things to bad; nice things to ugly. …… I might sound like an alchoholic, I am not. But I have to admit that I am aditcted, and sometimes, I abuse it a little. What interests me is that, why sometimes I behave so differently in front my loved ones after drinking. I wouldn’t act more single when I go out myself, but I might probability act that I’d rather be single. There is an old Chinese proverb that says when the wine goes in, the truth comes out. It takes guts to be vulnerable and speak what I truly feel. On the other hand, I can be fairly open with my relationships when I am sober, and the last thing I want to do is to hurt someone I love. So, what is the truth? What is driven behind this strange behaviover? Is the truth so ugly that I have to use alcohol to ‘release’ myself? …… It is so easy if I just blame the alcohol. But I think it might be more than that. Something is wrong, and I want to find out what it is. Because I know this is very unhealthy and dysfunctional if it continues like this. …… I want to break this bad cycle. Before I find out what really it is, I think I just have to keep telling myself let’s not mix the ‘pleasure’ and ‘abusing the pleasure’.
Two years ago, I have listed down few things down that I promise myself to do before my life ends. Two years later, when I read them again, I feel good I’ve done some of them, such as Backpacking in Bali alone, MBA, and etc. But I also question myself what hell was I thinking when I came out some of things – find a LockSmith boyfriend?! The rest, I know they are coming along… Let me share this upgraded version of my ‘My Ten Things To Do List’ with you:
¨ Parachute/Sky Dive before I’m 30 跳伞 ¨ Live in Tibet… at least for a month 西藏 ¨ Fly a Plane or a Glider 学驾飞机 ¨ Have a Home and design it by myself有一个家 ¨ Write a book 写一本书 ¨ Learn Latin Dancing —- HOT because of the PASSION!! 学拉丁舞 ¨ Donate my body to someone needed when I die (This will be the last thing I have to do) 在我死后，捐出我的肢体 ¨ Become a spy … or a ‘Business Intelligence’ spy in Industrial Espionage… almost close 做间谍, 或者商业间谍 ¨ Sing English songs like it’s my 1st language… damn it, now you know why I always try to find excuses when you ask me to go Karaoke 畅情地唱英文歌 ¨ Having a Child … don’t mind be a single mother if I have to 做母亲 ¨ Get one more Tattoo 再有一个自己的纹身
Of course, there are more things that I want to do, and I will die in peace if I have done all of them. But let’s not rush it, yeah; the whole point of living is to enjoy the process of wanting, anticipating, achieving - right?!
What’s on your list? Any the same?
Can’t wait to review this in two years time.
———WARNING——– If embarking on motherhood, it is recommended that a partner is involved. Preferably, though not exclusively, a male. 当自己知道生命的 期限 自信的体现 在于 用自己的方式 向世人 炫耀 仅存着的奢望 渐渐地 你走进了 我的世界 看到的 是自己真情的背影 沿着所有惬意 却忘记了 原来的脚印 。。 走下去 回去 早早得以由不得自己 —– 2003 夏 。。。 浮着的寄托 寻找这一份可有可无的消息 昨日的无尽 划不开取舍的距离 并不是害怕 也不愿逃离 ——- 2003 秋 知道脚 往事感沉重 想留下痕迹 沙 在茫茫大漠 等他 。。。。。—— Four year ago, a man left me with a scar 水因有月方知静 天为无云始知高 独坐孤石休更问 此时难得一丝毫 真人无名 真水无香 叹他乡 。。。 今 了 捻 江 朝 看 起 山 抹 枕 临 易 泪 思 枝 改 别 来 涂 人 他 无 碎 难 乡 恙 忆 忘 夜是这样的肃穆 白桦树排在路边 举手道别 梦中惊醒的鸟儿 惶恐地叫着 飞起来逃离 唉 缘分在这里就划上了句号 来生再见时 你还认识我吗 我的左眉 有一颗黑痣
一直以来我都想把自己的旧日记整理出来，现在终于有一点空闲，翻开自己以前写的一些东西，有不少读得时候还能体会到当时写下的滋味。也有一些，到现在还觉得蛮有意思的… … … 洞察他人是世故，洞察自己是道悟，两者皆存是承认存在的痛苦。（Knowing others is worldiness, Knowing self is enlightenment, A bit of both is the struggle of existence.） … 不要用自己的错误惩罚自己，不要用自己的错误惩罚别人，更不要用别人的错误来惩罚自己。（Do not punish yourself by your own mistake, do not punish others by your own mistake, do not punish yourself by others mistake.) … 第一次看到流星,一看就看到十多颗，想起自己对自己落的‘咒’，看来自己生命中注定的男人已经出现了… … … Freedom is just another word for nothing left to lose. … …深深地体会到钱是买不到一个人的修养和素质。 … 我永远不可能满足于一个情人…(one lover is never enough for me…) … 但一个人精神和心境处于一种无知无觉的疲惫状态，感动过得不能再感动，吸引过得不能在吸引，甚至激怒过得不能再激怒。这时，人就需要寻找另一片风景 —- 熟悉的地方没有风景。 … 要令男人爱你，最重要的并不是朝夕相处，而是若即若离。不是不离不弃，而是离而不弃。善用离别。 … 如果同时爱上两个男人是贪心，那么，爱一个就是自私。 … 融入的方法是投入，正如pain, 在面对pain时，不仅要接受，还要试着去体会它。这样，pain 就会转变成另一种形式。 … 当过‘第三者’的女人才会真正体会的爱的百味。 … ‘攀附而存’是一件很痛苦的事情，对一个注重自我的女人是办不到的。 … … not that you would, but you could… … The only way out, is in. … 要骗人，首先要骗自己。 … 女人把心事放在愈细微的东西上，于是显得她的在意与在乎。 … 当一个人的价值适当的表现出来是一件快乐的事。而一个人的价值得到肯定时，懂得给予肯定的那个人也一样享受！ … 机遇有时是一种诱惑。 … 每一个答案只会有一个问题；而每一个问题却有无数个答案。 … 由简单到复杂只是一种最基本的生命的演变，又复杂到简单才是人存在的最终意义。 … 以心灵为生的女人是孤寂的，孤寂的灵魂需要一个依托，那就是文字。 … 生活中的一切，除了自我陶醉之外，都是模仿。 … 享乐是一种空洞，快乐是一种深刻。 … 看到了路 — 就走，看到了路 — 就走，再看到了路 — 再走，就到了。
以上的这些都是在‘此刻此景’写下的片片语语，接下来，是一些旧时的诗词… |
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